That is what Sanjay Dutt, who was sentenced to five years in jail, was telling friends in the days leading up the Supreme Court verdict Among the first people
Sanjay Dutt spoke to yesterday after being sentenced to five years in jail was his
Munnabhai director
Rajkumar Hirani. "Please take care of my kids," an inconsolable Dutt told the filmmaker with whom he is now shooting
PK.
On Thursday the Supreme Court, which delivered the final verdict on the
appeals filed by the state and convicts in the 1993 Mumbai serial
blasts case, sentenced Dutt to five years in jail. He has already served
18 months of his sentence and will have to spend another three
and-a-half years in jail.
Dutt, 53, was found guilty of
acquiring illegal weapons from those blamed for the bombings in Mumbai
that killed 257 people and was given a month to surrender.
Though it may have appeared that Dutt was basking in the glory of his
hits and enjoying being mollycoddled by his family, deep down it was
exactly this day that he had been fearing.
"He recently told me about a recurring nightmare - that he was back 'there,'" said a person close to Dutt. "And it kept him
awake most nights. He has been living this punishment for the last 18 years since he came out of jail."
In a recent interview to TOI, Dutt said the only reason he was praying
for a favourable verdict was because he was now happy in life and did
not want to lose it again. "I am so satisfied today as a human being,"
he had said.
Even as the verdict date drew nearer, Dutt
confided to his friends, "At this point of time, I am prepared to lose
anything but my freedom."
A lot has changed since Dutt 'first
lost his freedom' when he was picked up from the airport on his way back
from Mauritius in 1995 and his sentencing yesterday. Back then he was
33 years old, divorced from Richa Sharma, and reportedly in a
relationship with
Madhuri Dixit,
even contemplating marriage. Though Madhuri soon distanced herself from
him, Dutt's arrest generated a curious sympathy wave that swept
Khalnayak to the winning post.
Imprisonment changed his world. His late father and then Congress MP,
Sunil Dutt,
was the worst hit. Dutt Sr visited Sanjay in the Arthur Road Jail every
day, carrying lunch for his son whenever he was permitted to have home
food. He met lawyers and politicians who he felt could save him.
"But every evening he first visited his neighbours,
Dilip Kumar and
Saira Banu,"
says veteran journalist Ali Peter John. "Dilip, who was like Sunil's
elder brother gave him all the advice he could. Sunil at times broke
down, while Dilip ran his fingers through his hair and said 'Allah will
take care of our son. Please don't lose
heart, you are a very strong man.'"
With every jail stint, Dutt changed. The first time he went in, he was
confident. He knew nothing about the law and was only worried about
himself. The next time was different. "When he was refused bail for one
and half years, he was shattered," said an associate.
He
started reading up on the law and got notes from the court proceedings
faxed to his then secretary Pankaj Kharbanda to help him. He put up a
brave front when his family met him, despite jail conditions wearing him
out. "Reality was sinking in," said the associate. During these years
when Dutt was in and out of prison, the few familiar faces in every
frame included his friend Sanjay Gupta, sisters Priya and Namrata, their
husbands and his girlfriend Rhea Pillai.
After his 18-month incarceration, he was back on his feet and with films like
Daud, Vastav, and Kurukshetra regained
much of his lost ground. Later, the Munnabhai movies helped him carve a
niche for himself. But even when he was walking free, the thought of
being sent back to prison always haunted him. Only recently did a
semblance of normalcy return with his marriage to Manyata.
Describing him as 'vulnerable' and 'affection-starved' a source close to
the star said, "For the first time in his life, Sanju is thoroughly
domesticated. For years he lived the bohemian life - never part of the
family but always craving for it. But after he married Manyata and had
kids, things have changed."
He just wanted his wife to do all the things that no woman had ever done for him - fuss over him.
With Dutt being given just one month to surrender, the producers of
the movies that he is currently working are a worried lot.
While he has a significant role alongside
Aamir Khan in PK, he plays the lead in
Policegiri, which is 80 per cent complete. In
Zanjeer, he plays Sher Khan. In Karan Johar's
Ungli, he has a cameo, while the fate of the next
Munnabhai film is yet unknown.
Subhash Kapoor, who was supposed to direct
Munnabhai Chale Dilli, said: "I don't know what
Vidhu Vinod Chopra and Raju will decide. But I cannot envisage a
Munnabhai film without him."
While that may well be true, trade analyst Taran Adarsh said the stakes
now are far lesser than what they were when he was arrested for the
first time 18 years ago. "Unlike the previous times, when he was the
lead actor in most films, this time he has less at stake," said Adarsh.
"But
yes, a few films will go topsy-turvy because of this."
Dutt's friends and family, however, are worried more about the
emotional damage a second spell of incarceration - something the actor
himself dreaded the most - will do to him more than the commercial
repercussions.
